Won’t you come into the confessional with me? I admit, it’s a little weird to be inviting a
bunch of folks into the confessional with me, and I’m not sure any of you are a
priest, but I need to get something off my chest. Please be my confidante. Don’t worry, you can have the high
ground. For the next couple weekends,
I’ll gladly take the low road. You
should know I’ll be taking the low road in jest, but we’ll get to that….
Are you ready? No,
it’s fine. Don’t worry with the collar
and black priestly attire. Only one of
us needs to walk that line of sacrilege, and I’m already there. I’ll try to pull you down with me, but I’m
hoping you’ll be able to appreciate it down here like I do.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…
(it’s alright if you’re technically a lady,
it’s the Internet. Be who you want to
be. For the sake of the visual, I look
like Brad Pitt and my voice is that of James Earl Jones. Yeah, this post just got waaaaay more epic,
didn’t it? Seriously, go back and read that opening in JEJ’s voice and tell me
you’re not already more engaged.)
Anyways Father, like I was saying, I’ve sinned…I drink too
much, I swear, I take sports too seriously, I’m not always pleasant to be
around. But, on some level I’m sure you
get all that. After all, we share a love
of Our Lady, and for both of us it’s a “religious” experience. Oh? I
just sinned again….well, I don’t apologize, but I understand. It makes sense that fandom shouldn’t equate
to core beliefs, but that’s neither here nor there. Honestly, this is my confessional, and I’m
not here to talk about all that anyways.
You should understand I’m really here to proactively
apologize for the next couple of weekends.
I intend to be petty, senseless, brainless, with my jabs towards the
Cougar Cubs of BYU and the trees…..or the color….or whatever they are at
Stanford. See! It just slips out. I’m hoping to make you understand ahead of
time though, that I’m doing this in fun because I’m excited. When I read article after article about
paying players and how the NCAA is unjustly exploiting the talented men (and
women) who play sports I become a bit disillusioned. It’s not that I disagree with their
point. It’s just that we’ve been through
all this before.
Father, I’m not sure you enjoy the history of collegiate
sports as much as I do, so I need to digress here for a moment before moving
on. Collegiate sports has multiple times
faced scandal and ridicule about being nothing more than hired guns. The earliest days of college football were
filled with moonlighters and players who could be bought on a moment’s notice
to help upend the toughest opponents.
It’s been a breeding ground for gambling, fixes, and seedy
behind-the-scenes deals for those looking to make a quick buck. Somehow though, college sports has also
become a beacon for those searching for “love of the game” competition. Maybe this is naïve, that’s undeniably a
possibility. I still grasp to the notion
though that college sports can be
more than just a money grab. I’m not
trying to divorce the sport of its monetary potential, but there can still be a
degree of purity, can’t there?
Sometimes it’s better to avoid dissecting an issue too
closely. I get that I could probably be
swayed if I listen too closely, but there’s still something to be said for the
student/athlete and the institution above the individual. I’m tired of the Johnny Manziel’s, the Reggie
Bush’s, and the like. It might be the
way of the World, but we don’t need to lump everyone together. Notre Dame’s tended to stand for something
more, and there are concessions it can make without losing its sense of
identity. That really gets me back to
what I was saying…
When I look at the opposite sideline from ND this Saturday,
I’ll see BYU. Perhaps the only
institution in major college football whose identity is even more tightly
associated with religious conviction than Notre Dame’s. This is no hedonistic university like
USC. It’s not a major state school
funneling off public funds to fuel its own sense of self-worth like Michigan. BYU doesn’t deserve my ridicule, but I intend
to give it to them. Mormons are a funny,
idiosyncratic bunch. Same as Catholics. Father, I know their faith and identity are
more deeply engrained than any jab and I can throw their way, and that’s why
I’ll do it. Because I can do it
embracing the joy of fandom for a change.
It’ll all be in fun because it’s a University whose purpose I can
actually respect. The ire won’t be
there, just the words, and that’s a welcome change.
Oh sure, they’re no “rival” in the sense that term’s been
given in the collegiate world. However,
there are increasingly few opportunities for good programs with a sense of
identity that extends off the field
to face one another. This is one of
those valued few. So Father, when I take
my shots at what the Mormons are drinking during the game or the irony of the
vernacular use of their nickname Cougar, I need you to understand that it’s one
of the few times I do so out of respect.
Because, BYU like Notre Dame, still embraces their religious foundations
in the ever-increasing professional college sports environment.
But it’s not just this coming weekend I need to proactively
confess about, it’s also the following weekend when we face Stanford. I’ve already forgiven that the school
embraces the anti-mascot yet places a premium on student/athletes. They, like me, are all talk when it comes to
that. Sure, Stanford pretends they’re
above on the field results. I’ve yet to
see that university fail to recognize their all-around athletic team
performance. Then again, the same can be
said for Notre Dame. Stanford’s a game
about peers in student/athlete competition.
I’ll give their fans crap for lighting up their new iPhones instead of a
#1 atop Grace Hall. I also will have remarks
about their smug coach David Shaw, and their stupid tree mascot. I mean, really? A tree.
I know you won’t even make me say one Hail Mary for making fun of that
being their rallying image. I’m not
promising I won’t say or wish for a Hail Mary though depending on how that game
goes.
What BYU means to Notre Dame in religious equal, Stanford
means to Notre Dame in taking the notion of student/athlete seriously. I have an Irish fan sin to confess to you as
well, and that’s that I root for Stanford any week we’re not playing them. After all, the cynics, “realists,” and
self-righteous get most of the pub for suggesting we’re no longer in the age of
the student/athlete. Watching Notre Dame
and Stanford is one of the few times I get to fight back. These arguments were
made in the 40’s and 50’s as well, and it was schools like Notre Dame
whose devotion to fostering the higher
image got college athletics through that time.
I welcome an ally in that cause…except for the week we’re playing
them.
So, forgive me Father for I intend to launch insults the
Trees way as well. Just understand I’m
going to be working on it now because I need to be. Without the assurance that their “scholar
athlete” will have a 3.1 in weight lifting, I won’t get the ammunition that so
many SEC schools afford. Furthermore, I
know they’ll be ready to come back at me.
It’ll be a scholarly debate of pettiness, and I for one look forward to
it.
I know what you’re thinking…that my apology is late. Where was I for those weeks versus our
service academies? Well, Father, I
distinguish them, set them apart because their mission is of a different
kind. Those men made a commitment that
led to them playing football and not the other way around. Not even from my lax Catholic perch can I suggest
that the Notre Dame…or BYU….or Stanford experience is quite on par with those
men. They’re part of the resistance,
just on a different plain.
As I enter these final few weeks of the 2013 season, I
invite you down into the rungs with me.
Please, think of what my penance should be, but while you’re thinking
about that, think of a few insults to throw the way of BYU and Stanford as well. Hopefully you’ll find the enjoyment of
pettiness for its own sake, as opposed to the more divisive battles that tend
to litter college football, to be as enjoyable as I do. I’ll have fun with it, not apologize in the
moment, and feel comfort that at the end of the day I’ll be watching true
collegiate match-ups and not just the kindling used by those who wish to see
the final remnants of college athletics burn.
Get back to me about the punishment….I’m going to go sing
the Alma Mater.
- Moons
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